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A Better Jurassic World

Dear Max Landis,

I actually really liked your pitch for a better Jurassic World movie in the mid-September Movie Fights.

Full disclosure: I actually REALLY enjoyed Jurassic World. It vies for my Top Favorite Movie with Jurassic Park 3. You see, I don't have any of the lofty goals of "plot" and "story line" and "character development" that esteemed movie critics seek in movies. My goal is "RAPTORS! Were the raptors cool? Were they at least somewhat accurate in some way? YAY RAPTORS!"

So Jurassic Park 3 (or III) had socially sophisticated raptors that communicated vocally with each other, and cared for their offspring. That's what I loved about JP3. Jurassic World showed equally complex raptors, with a social structure and intelligence. They're not just killing machines. They're social, intelligent creatures.

I would have been more happy if they'd had feathers. I'd have been more happy if a lot of things. But let's face it, raptor fans have little enough to celebrate in movies these days. We're lucky to get what we do. In decades past, dinosaurs were portrayed as cold-blooded, slow-moving, stupid, offspring-leaving careless parents, more lizard-like than bird-like, mindless killers, and more. So much so, that an even-slightly-realistic portrayal of dinosaurs has me, and my fellow dinosaur fans, throwing popcorn in the aisles in praise of the entire JP franchise. The Jurassic Park series is literally our ONLY SOURCE of dinosaur movie, accurate or otherwise. So don't hate us for loving the franchise.

But I get it. The Jurassic Park movies are more powerful when they're used as a commentary on humanity as a whole. And your pitch was excellent, and I think I would have enjoyed your movie.

However, we need to talk about your dinosaur pronunciation. Let me start by saying that I am not trying to be insulting. I have definitely mispronounced a fair number of dinosaur names in my growth as a dino-fan. These words just aren't uttered in our culture today, so it's totally understandable why someone might get them wrong.

Except, velociraptor is now a household name. And I have to let you know: it's a short i sound, not a long e sound. vel-OSS-ih-raptor, not vel-OSS-ee-raptor.

Also, it's die-NON-ick-us, not DIE-know-NIKE-us. (Fair enough, that one's not as much of a household name.)

Again, this isn't meant as a personal attack. I used to say PARE-uh-SAUR-uh-LOFF-uss, because let's face it, that's how Parasaurolophus is spelled as far as Americans are concerned. But I later learned it's para-saur-ALL-ofus. So, my mistake. I also used to say "ank-KEY-lo-saurus, but it's ank-KYE-losaurus. Live and learn.

I just wanted to write this to say, I liked your movie pitch, but from a dinosaur lover, please make minor adjustments to your pronunciations.

Thank you,
A blue raptor-ish gamer/geek/nerd

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